There Comes a Time

I feel humbled by the Universe and all its awe. At times I wonder just how it seems to know just that which I truly need to better understand or grow from experience. I know that we all travel the road of life in different ways. I also realise that my journey will be different as it is unique to me.

I have felt a little unsettled and uncertain in the past few days. I almost felt like a a wave on the ocean trying to find shore. Silly as it seems my emotions ebbed and surged forth but I truly lacked the distance to reach land.

I tossed and turned and considered my choices. I felt I really had none but, often it helps to feel one has some tempting in the hand of the universal energy even if it is a numb one. I was truly bothered and perplexed at how my seemingly balanced and equal life seemed a little off key and jilted.

I was not agitated or annoyed just lost. You know the feeling you get when you know something is missing but you haven't quite figured it out until it hits you. That's me. I mean no I am not going to hit you! but that is how I felt. I was like a balloon that once lost its ability to float but instead I am deflated and looking a little wrinkled by my once exuberance and usefulness.

I sat in my bed wondering what is it? what am I missing? What is it that is not connecting the dots or creating the same internal force of change that I so readily embrace each day. Why do I feel so blah? Where is my belly laugh? What happened to my get over it attitude? Why am I thinking I am the only one feeling like this as I observe others so merrily going about their day.

I know that I have not lost my sense of purpose yet I feel I am questioning myself about what they truly may be. Am I happy ? yes to a degree I am. I am grateful for my good health, my family, my life I have chosen. I am happy.

I look at my life and all that I have accomplished and that which is yet to arrive and I feel that I have achieved a lot. I feel fulfilled in my accomplishments for that has made me become the person I felt compelled to be.

I think even harder what is it? what is it that is creating this gulf between my self and my me? What is enabling me to feel detached from my usual jubilant self. Am I turning into an old fart? Am I tired? Do I lack spontaneity or a goal? I find myself probing beneath my layers seeking the answer so that I may put that piece of whatever is missing back.

I start to mentally tick off all that I hold gratitude for in my life. I thank my guides and angels for their provisions and understanding. I thank them for being a part of my journey no matter how much I must drive them crazy or turn them grey!

I find myself laying wide eyed and staring at the ceiling in the dark. Little shapes float by and my thoughts try to find a logic to a sign or symbol that might come forth. I speak to my guides and say to them that I truly am feeling a little lost but I am uncertain of the true nature of that which is creating such a short fall within.

I ask them to give me direction on that which I am so very much overlooking or failing to better understand. I ask that they may help me to find a sense of resolution or to better see that which is creating this feeling of distance. As I lay there in the darkness watching the space fill with shifting thoughts to the sound of my own breathing.

I realise in that moment, there comes a time we must detach and step back. A time that we must allow our energy to recuperate, settle and find its own source again. Almost like plugging back into the universal socket and allowing  one self to recharge. I gather if I was to liken it to when the mobile phone goes completely flat and that panicked moment you plug it in to wait what seems like an eternity before you hear BLING and the battery light starts flashing to let you know it is charging.

I had that BLING moment laying there in the dark as I started to realise this was my moment of running flat. I was needing to do so to enable myself to plug back into the source. I was half expecting a software update but alas I still woke up the same model!

In this time of stepping back we see a new perspective on an old situation. We have a realization and possibly an arr har moment. We tend to find that in that void we are neither lost or found we are just within that moment. Although it does not feel like that when we first enter the experience. It feels like what am I missing as you pat yourself down doing that mental check, undies, socks, purse? Everything seems intact but you still feel you are missing something.

What was I missing? Time out for me. I am so used to being busy when I have a time out I am not accustomed to it is very foreign. I truly do tend to over do it when I do work I know this. I enjoy something I enjoy it to exhaustion. I call myself OCD when it comes to a good thing. Be it listening to a song, making a grand plan or just visualizing a dream. I will dedicate myself to seeing it through 100 times over until its exhausted.

I ask the universe in my moment of feeling like Sandra Bullock in Gravity, is this it? Is this what I am meant to do just float around waiting for something to hang onto before I get sucked into oblivion? Of course no George Clooney arrived to save my day but I did get the idea this short moment of space travel was important.

I began to realise the space between me and the universe was not a unreachable space ship just a time for me to gain perspective on my life, myself and my real purpose. What is my real purpose? I have no real idea, although I know I live it everyday without needing to know it. I know that sounds crazy but that is the truth.

I get up and just do whatever the day delivers. If it is a three course meal then great. If it is bread and water then thank you. I just know that I am doing whatever it is I must be meant to be doing. There is no right or wrongs just experiences and journeys.

So I realised I was having time out. My battery was flat I needed a reboot and recharge. In this moment of detachment I also had some reality checks. I took a closer look at my actions, thoughts and emotions. I realised that there comes a time .......................... to step back and take time out.

Negative vs Positive = Crap

We can all relate to a time that we have given so much to end with little as slap in the face. The times you try so hard to find out your energy was ammunition for the lesser. The moments you are dismissed, degraded and left shell shocked by someone who is a professional in sarcasm and narcissism.

The professional  usually sports a smug smile and a scented of arrogance that lingers with a small yet false apology. The one that almost makes you feel sorry for being that which you are or for voicing your concern.

The professional sarcasm seems to know the right words to say to shoot you into a false submission making think look the wiser most important person. You know the one who makes you question your genuineness when they are nothing but a falsehood trying to dominate with all their might to be a knowledgeable person who has an ego larger than the economical deficit.

This person delights in dredging up inadequacies and creating a rift of feelings. The more turmoil they have in their midst the better that feel Superior. They call others fools for facing off and creating a challenge,. They demean, falsify and create trouble and rifts. They thrive on their negative thoughts and hear say as a validation for their mere reasoning behind their attacks.

These people enjoy thinking they have the upper hand as their ego takes on  a life of its own. If you dare to challenge them they rip away the fabric of that which you love and respect. They find solace in their truths that are created from the irrational thoughts and lies.They choose to hold that which reinforces their negative behaviors.

These people create a drama and reinforce their will. The more recognize they are not right, they then use their emotive blackmail to let you know they hold power. They look at what they think is your weakest point and fixate on that which they can reinforce over and over. "you said you were not good at that remember you said it and so be it you are not good at that as you said it yourself and i am only repeating it as you have said it. "

They stay focused on the past and create all their baggage and bullets from such. Dredging up all they can in order to may themselves look superior and gracious. After all they are doing you the favour to repeat what they so adamantly think are your or those around you  faults and shortfalls.

Little do they know as a vibration that you have chosen to rise that which you no longer hold those same lower energies or thoughts., You see beyond to see an almost pity of compassion for the one trying to drag you effortlessly down to their level.

You start to see their ego is a thorn that they have struggled and given into. You see that you beyond their reach yet they try to drag you down even using their blackmail and assertion of power taking every form of control. They try to rip away what which they think is your weakest and most stable link. Yes they try to create a drama in your life that affects many.

They take the victim lead with a helping of truth, They ask you for advice whilst shooting your reply down with irrational reasoning. They truly are only looking for validation on the self righteous actions. Their demeaning words and embarrassing disrespectful manners. Their shooting and accusatory words. Their childish ways that hurts others in order to divert the attention away from the inferior person they are.

Their disgusting actions , language and belittling ways that will take the normal person by shock as noone would envisage such behaviour from a trusted bond of friendship/family or other.. The attitude of creating such a falsehood exhilarates them and inspires their motives to continue. They love feeling they are in control and creating such angst. The bigger the turmoil the larger the smile of satisfaction.

The ego greets you before they do. You are meet with a smile of contempt that brings down the hammer of reality. This person thinks they are God and their opinion is law. Dare you to cross them and think otherwise they will have your guts for garters. They will strip you down and make a mockery of you. They are the the persecutors of their own law. They are the ones most needing love and yet denying it.

They believe they are right. They are doing all that is right and you are wrong and wouldn't you do this after all the victim is the victim and you the sightseer. Would you not take their side you fool of a person that has never lived life beneath that which is only right by them.

What your parents never said they loved you justifies never say i love you or a good thing about your accomplishments,.Oh what you never had an education justifies those who do. So you had an imperfect life, so did most of us but we did not poke a stick at you.

They use whoever or whatever  they can to bring their ego to light. They do whatever they can to make you look lower than them.

My advice to all in this position is to know you are not alone. That the person doing this is below and beneath you that is why they have such power.; They think you are so afraid to say anything or do anything as they  they rely on your ability to love or want the one thing they are trying to create as rift. They want you to not say anything so they can rule their roost.

This person wants you to think you are inferior. You are worthless and not of their standards. They want you to believe they feed you when you are worth with praise or love. They want you believe they are the key.

Truth is they are not. Truth is they know this but will try to rule all the same . They want you thinking that you will answer to them.

What do you do?

Be honest with yourself and know your pity is as i am told " it is the apathy of others that allow those to do as they do" unfortunately those with an ego wont see his/hers statement as any more than their own statement towards their self righteous ways. They believe it is their right to make everyone who does not agree with them a living hell.

xx Cosmic Hugs xx

June 2014 Overview

It's All About to Happen

I am sitting here thinking what is it that would be the best piece of information to read connecting you with the month ahead? I am between fairy dust and sprinkles or perhaps some productive solutions to that which has been lingering.

Let's start with the predictions and then I will ease you into the productive....sounds like a plan.

This month will encourage you to listen to your inner guidance. The more you do so the less likely it is that you will get caught up in the hype and drama of life events. I t seems nobody wants to really take up the challenge or be responsible to lead the battle.

We are all focusing on healing our minds, bodies, and souls. This does not imply we are not interested in that which is happening in the world around us, just that we are needing to go within to heal and recover our own energy.

You will be reassessing your life and all that you have completed, attempted or even dreamt of pursuing in the past 12 months. You will be seeing if your purpose or plan was worth the energy or dedication. Did it pay off or are you still chasing your tail?

This month is asking you to put your life into perspective. THINK about it are you really doing the job you love, are you passionate about that person, dream or ambition, are you crazy about making your goals happen? There is a missing link between it eventuating or happening and where have I stepped off at the wrong train stop and still catching the same train back to this point, instead of boarding that train to where I am supposed to be.

I am almost feeling this sense of being optimistically cautious, all this thinking is leading to doubts or fears that  may lead you to be asking yourself " have I got this wrong?' "what the heck was I thinking or perhaps the woe is me I just can't get it happening" I want to let you know that although you are serious about your life path and all that is in it. You may find that the decisions you are making this month will be to encourage you to jump back on that train and this time GET OFF at the real destination.

As I typed that last line I was sucking in my breath as I know that message was a timely reminder to myself to look at the possibilities not the limitations that have influenced my thinking or even my choices. I bet you are nodding your head right now or having an arrrrr haaaaar moment.

The guys upstairs, the universal energy are telling you loud and clear this month to LET GO, release yourself from all that is hampering your growth, happiness or personal progress. You can see exactly that which needs to change and that which you are contributing to enable your present situation. 

Time to stop stressing about who or what may get hurt with your decision, just make it. You are compromising your own happiness in order to appease those you feel you are protecting, guiding, helping an so forth. This month you are to nurture YOU!

There is a strong emphasis on taking the first step. All you need to do is TAKE that first step and then before you know it life is happening and with good results. You do not need to mount your horse and charge into the month with a battle cry worthy of Braveheart but you do need to make an effort.

I am sitting here saying to spirit (my guys upstairs) and? and now what, I can not end a blog with this I need something to reinforce this message. I hear them say, then Let Go..............allow the new path to open and the fresh outlooks to begin. The plans that are being strung together like a beaded necklace to work towards completion. Talk to your higher self, guides and angels and allow them to speak back. Listen to your inner self for each moment you do the more you will see.

You do not need to look outside for answers, this month they are all before you. This is your year in reflection and you are rummaging through the lost property box and finding ideals and healing that was lost and now are ready to be reclaimed. Yes it has your name written all over it, just pick it up and see if this is the one  reason you are here at this space and time because you needed take a revision on that very problem, issue or wound in order to recognise its importance in your life at this very moment is to heal and let it go.

This familiar route, the same old predicament or problem that seems resurface and now it is really getting to the point it is limiting you. How long has it been? How many times have you said you will but you dont? how many times have you said this time I am doing it for me but you give up? How many more trips down memory lane will it take dredging up the past that is left unresolved?

Let it go. Nobody can solve this, answer this or make it better. Only you can.

June 2014 is the lantern of reason, the light of healing and guidance. The spotlight of direction and purpose. All that you need will be illuminated and brighter than Doris Day. There will be no excuse not to see the habitual transitions of non change, it will just keep being brought to your attention.

This is not a time to beat yourself up[ and be too hard on yourself and overly critical. That could have been why you are here right now. It is about letting go of that which is not allowing you to grow, be free or that which is depleting your ability to be happy, loved, at peace.

Each day of June will bring forth this very chance to heal, to take the lead to be complete. 

Tickets please! next stop ................................. 

Seeing Past Regret

Seeing Past Regret

Taking responsibility or healing the gulf is just as important as the experience that created the change and lead to this point of regret. It is one of those feelings that can lead to dismay, mixed feelings and pure emotional and mental exhaustion. The point of realizing you can not change that which has happened but you can be more aware of the future, does not settle the emptiness left by regret.

Ask the person who wishes they so much could change the course of an outcome. Ask the person who wishes with all their might they would have thought differently at the time. Ask the person who is mourning someone, worried over someone or left helpless by a situation that created a gulf of change that lead to much that can no longer be fixed, replaced or put back together.

Regret is real. It is the conscious mind letting you know that you are dealing with unfinished business. You are literally sitting in the middle of could of, should of, why did I, how could I, conversations that are running rampart within the head.

What is regret? it is an unhappiness, disappointment, sorrow, guilt, remorselessness, shame, self condemnation. It is the human mind and emotions going through dejection, mourning and utter helplessness to change a situation that has impacted ones life or that of others.

Regret can build over years only to emerge when one is at the lowest point in life or a situation and it may resurface bring with it years of similar situations or feelings building upon and reinforcing regret. When one feels as if they have failed, pulled up short, lost a chance or are grieving for a person or situation or outcome, they often fill with regret and self blame for feeling powerless in not being able to change the outcome.

Regret can be how you treated someone, how you left a situation unresolved or a turned away from a solution. Regret can emerge when you have time to rethink matters and questions your actions as being impulsive or negative. Perhaps you have had a period of time when you have jumped into or went against your better judgement and the situation ended very badly leading you to questions your logical actions you would be able to undertake now with such hindsight to that which you are now experiencing.

It is the feeling of reassessing such actions and seeing that your choices or lack of have lead to this situation becoming an integral learning block within your self. Yes you do learn from your choices and regrets, we learn that we can not change them but we can take a look at how to better resolve, sort or even forgive and mend that issue that needs healing to enable one to let go of the regret and accept the situation or outcome as a an experience that may take time but one can not change the past only be more aware of the future steps one may choose to take.

1. Look at what you regret, write it down
2. Now write at least one thing you have learned from that situation beside each regret.
3. Write one thing you would do differently in the future connected to that regret.
4. Tick each regret you have listed if you have repeated that same situation again, if so write why ?
5. Look over your regrets, you reasons and solutions to do matters differently if the situation or chance to come again, reassess you motives, motions and reasons behind these regrets in a a way that releases you from self condemnation but allows you to take a responsible look at how you can better change repeating such actions or situations in the future.
6. Where possible let go, forgive, mend or find the avenue that enables you to release this regret in a way that is not going to be harmful to yourself or others.

Common regrets -

1. I wish I would have got a better education - solution never to late to learn
2. I wish I was there when they passed - solution they know you would have if you could have or it was not meant to be. They love you, they understand and would not want you putting yourself through all of this every time you think of them.
3. I wish I would have started this when I was younger - solution well nothing like the present and you will enjoy it more because you are ready for it now.
4. I wish I would not have been so mean to that person - solution is there a way to repair this or perhaps look at if you are in the same situation again to not repeat the same regret.
5. I wish I did not spend, over eat, over indulge, act so irresponsible - solution there is many self help groups, personal plans or people to support you just ask. 
6. I wish I would have said no - solution that no might have not made the difference you feel it would have.
7. I wish I would not have made that decision, I went again my better judgment - solution you are armed with knowledge of what will be a better course in future
8. I wish I would have said I love you more, been more affectionate, hugged, let them know how I felt - solution you are who you are those who love you know this and accept you for the person you were to them. They perhaps do not judge you as harshly as you judge yourself. You can make the change to being more open with your feelings in the future.

I know you are reading this feeling this is so shallow, that regret is a deeper more painful jab that is piercing through your layers of self esteem, confidence and self love and forgiveness. The truth be told, you probably could not have changed the event, situation or circumstance even if you tried. A course was set, a path was to be taken.

The experience that was given through this succession of life experience has been brought through an immense self recognition of understanding that letting go, t

From a higher prospective, I know some may not accept this, so from my belief, I believe that everything happens for a reason. You reading this post is for a reason, be it information you needed to read, be it a chance to let go of something you secretly regret or knowing that you are not alone, that everyone has a regret but does it serve a purpose to hold onto it? I believe no.

I believe the longer you hold onto the regret the longer it takes to let it go and heal. The more immediate you recognise your actions the less inclined you will be to harbor regrets. I am not saying I have not had a regret in my life. I most likely would have had many if i hung onto them. BUT I learned that they served no purpose to be productive in my future life. This does not mean I negated responsibility for my actions or inaction's, it means I looked at my choices and identified with that which I knew I contributed to my situation and then took the steps to remedy, fix,heal, forgive and find a workable solution. 

If you feel you need to seek advice for your past regrets that are controlling your day to day life, be this a counselor, trusted friend or just your higher source. Then, please do so. Don't carry a burden that grows heavy and weary over time. Find a way to heal and let it go. I am not saying doing so will  take you back, or go back in time and then lead to a way to change the course of life but, it will make a large difference to your well being, self love and life in the now and in the future. 

When we live in the moment, we leave no room for regret. We accept the passage of time as building blocks for our soul experience. We accept that we are masters of our choices, we have a choice to hang on or to let go. We accept in our humanness we may make mistakes or create a situation that we can learn from. When we live in the moment we heal, we live, we find peace, forgiveness, compassion and understanding. When we see past regret we find wholeness, love and the real future with a new set of eyes.

xx Cosmic Hugs  xx 

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